What is the best approach to handle a friend with different sexual orientation?

  • Ola
    3 Likes

    Dear All,

     

    Please I need your advice on how to handle my friendship with my best friend.  We were both studying accounting in Germany. After our degree, we transferred to the UK for Masters. We had so much fun while studying and we also shared our problems together.  We were in different relationship that did not work at the time, but we never gave up hope of finding true love (the funny thing was that people thought we were dating).

     After Masters, he went back to Jordan and I went back to my country.  I haven't set my eyes on him for over 5yrs but we talk a lot via mobile. I am a devoted catholic and he is muslin although, he never really practiced his religion. I am always praying for him each time he complains of anything and sometimes, he requests I say a rosary for him.

     

    Recently I told him I was visiting Germany for holidays and he was excited and decided to pay me a visit. We arrange our meeting Point at a popular eatery in Berlin. He gave me an initial warning that he was coming with a friend, I was too excited that I never bothered to ask who the person was, (although, I guessed it was his new girlfriend).

    We finally met and I was so happy to see him again after such a long time. He introduced me to his friend and we both exchanged pleasantries. We ate and laughed hard over our school days struggles. His friend then excused himself to go have a fag outside, hence giving us time to talk privately. He inquired about my relationship and I told him I was yet to meet the man that truly loves me for me (my exact words). He went on to assure me that I will find just as he found his, and I was like, come on, gist me who this new girl was, then he threw the bomb. He said the guy that just left is his boyfriend. This was a big shock for me. I didn't know what to do or how to react. I became speechless that I cannot even remember the first words that came out of my mouth. I guessed he noticed my awkward reaction when he said that and asked that I don’t freak-out and went ahead to explain his side of story. I remember asking him if he was happy and how his family was taking it. 

     

    Our meeting ended in a quiet note although, not how I expected it. I am a Christian; my belief is against such act. My best friend is not a bad person rather the most amazing individual I have ever come across. My heart feels broken because I do not know how to handle our friendship anymore. I still want to be friends with him and at the same time, do not know the best approach to take that will make him not to freak out because of how I feel about his sexual orientation if he ever finds out

     

    Please, I really need your advice on how to go about this, because he is inviting me to Dubai when corona virus pandemic is over.

     

    52 days ago

  • Ama
    1 Likes

    Everyone has a right to be who they are and that should not affect you in anyway and besides, I do not think you need to go to Dubai to see him owing to how you feel about your relationship with him now.  

    51 days ago

  • Bulani
    Likes

     I will advise you avoid him since you have started feeling this way towards him because there is a limit to how you can hide your feelings before it starts showing. It will be a betrayal of trust if he gets to find out that you aren't cool with his sexual orientation. 

    51 days ago

  • Anika
    Likes

    I suggest you just carry on with your phone conversation with him and never honour his invitations anymore. This is the only way you may feel safe with his friendship


    51 days ago

  • mizwhendie
    1 Likes

    I think you can let him know how u truly feel abt his sexual orientation. There is no need to pretend to b cool with it. You can also not honour the invitation if u do not feel ok with it.

    You may have friends that fornicate, masturbate, do drugs, lie, cheat nd what have you. These are all sin before God not only being gay. There is no greater or lesser sin, but u are still friends with such pple even though ur Christian faith frowns upon such actions. 

    Evaluate the friendship if it is all worth it. Who knows oncs he knows u are not ok with his lifestyle he may b the one to pull the plug on d frienship.

    51 days ago

  • Ola
    Likes

    Bulani

    Thank you for your advise

    50 days ago

  • Ola
    Likes

    Anika

    I have not stopped talking with him just that it comes with a bit of discomfort whenever we are talking. I pray get over it. Thanks for your advise anyway.

    50 days ago

  • Ola
    Likes

    mizwhendie

    You are so correct. I think I am over reacting to it. I have assessed my friendship with him and I have come to a conclusion that he is someone that adds value to my life in terms of academics. I believe I will be fine.

    Thanks for your advise.

    50 days ago