I got married to a stripper and I feel terribly disappointed right now

  • Ava

    I know my story may sound like I'm a freak but please do not judge. I will make it as succinct as I can possibly make it.

    I left my ex husband 5years ago after which I got married to my new husband. My new husband and I have been friends even before I left my ex, though, we were not romantically connected.

    My husband earns his living as a professional stripper which I understood but we had this understanding of setting boundaries before we kicked it off. We have a 3 year old daughter together and he is an amazing father to our daughter which I’m quite pleased with.


    Recently, I noticed that he has been keeping late nights and whenever I asked, he was always telling me how his work makes him stay out late, how he needs to work harder and ensures we are ‘happy…bla la bla’. The annoying thing is that he suspects that I cheat on him with some guy but honestly, I have never thought let alone cheated on him and I believe this illusion of his was cooked up just to paint me black. With hindsight, I believe the issue of me cheating on him came up because he was trying to cover up whatever he is doing that is making him come back so late almost all nights these days. The only way to do it comfortably was to accuse me of cheating which I am convinced he knows I did not.


    Before the lockdown, I needed to go to the hospital for antenatal and for pains that I was experiencing all over my body which I believe might have been triggered by my pregnancy because I am 3 months pregnant. My husband was meant to drive me down as we agreed earlier but for the fact that he came back late in the morning due to his ‘work’, I had to drive myself. Normally, I drive myself in my car but on this day, my brother had called that he needed to use my car to quickly run an errand because his was bad which I obliged. With this development, I decided to drive in his car and did not want to wake him up since he was sleeping.

    As I sat in his car, I opened the compartment in between the driver’s seat and the passenger’s seat to drop my phone and my purse, lo and behold, what I saw was a box of condom with just one sachet left in it. I freaked out. This was a man that swore that his was strictly professional, that he does nothing with clients as they call them. As if that was not enough, I got a call that same night from a lady who claimed to have had a baby by my husband and has refused to take responsibility as the father. As most men would do, he has denied all of it which I wouldn’t want to elaborate the drama that ensued the time I asked him.

    I am currently in a state of confusion and have asked myself if divorce is an option. If I should leave him today, that will be my second divorce with 3 kids from 2 men. Again, how safe am I, going by the lifestyle he’s currently living by coming home late and getting other women pregnant?

    I am seriously worried and broken. Any advice I get right now will be most appreciated.


    514 days ago

  • jolyn

    This is a very dicey situation. By the way, why did you involve yourself with a low life if I may ask? Sorry, did not mean to be rude though but i needed to know why because that's what he is. Every husband's priority is to keep their family  safe and happy always. And to think he had slept with multiple women is a cause for worry for me. 

    From all indications, you aren't safe from this scumbag of a husband. Once a cheat, always a cheat and you have every reason to worry about your safety and health. Personally, nothing will make me marry a stripper no matter how good looking or nice he may seem. It is not a dignified job and besides, you are exposed to all sorts of danger.  You sound like a woman who is honest and wants to make her marriage work but then again, is that what you really want for yourself? I believe the decision is yours to make but know this, all strippers are mackers.

    512 days ago

  • Bliss

    It is not in my place to judge because no one is perfect. Whatever decision one takes in life must have been prompted by something. I guess you had your reasons for marrying a stripper. This is the time for sober reflection. Think inward, assess the situation and make a decision. Please consider your children in whatever decision you want to make. You shall overcome. 

    512 days ago

  • nas

    I really don't know how to advice you because the foundation was not right from the onset. However, make peace with yourself first for getting yourself into this. Again, do not be quick to action. If you are sure that you have spoken to him about it and he still does not want to change then, you should reassess your stance and let whatever decision you take then be final. 

    Any partner that cheats and continues to cheat is capable of killing. Killing is just about physical decimation but also emotional, psychological and spiritual.

    509 days ago

  • Obi

    Life is a two edged sword. Either you are on the  blunt side or the sharp side. Be strong my dear and whatever decision you take, let it be more in the interest of your kids. I wish you all the best.

    424 days ago