My friend is getting married to my High school Ex boyfriend, Should I tell her we dated?

  • Amelia

    While in high school, I dated this guy for about six months before we called it quit. We went our separate ways because we were not compatible.  He was too controlling and very outgoing. No house or school party will be complete without him gracing it back then.  In fact, he was making me do things I could not have ordinarily do. I felt there was nothing in the relationship for me and besides, we were so young, so I had to quite.

    Well, just a couple of days ago, my friend and I were on our way back from an event so we decided to pass through her boyfriend’s office, lo and behold, it was my ex boyfriend that she is dating. Initially, I was taken a back because I had no incline she knew my ex.  It was an awkward moment for both of us when we saw each other face to face for the first time in years.

    Anyway, we greeted and exchanged pleasantries then, we talked about our high school days

    To cut the story short, after we left her boyfriend, my friend was very curious as to how we knew each other and if he was a good guy back then. The truth is this; I could not come to terms with myself telling her that we were once lovers. I do not know how she will take it and sincerely speaking, I cannot tell if he is still that same old person I knew then or he has changed to be a better guy now. I am seriously tempted to tell her the truth but the outcome of it is my worry in case it does not go down well with her.

    Guys, please what do I do?

    245 days ago

  • mel

     This is a very dicey situation. Personally, I do not know how I will feel knowing that my husband to be once dated my best friend. I will leave it to your conscience. If you feel it is worth telling her, then go ahead. For me, I will tell my friend because, not telling her will be a burden I may carry for the rest of my life if her husband decides not to tell her.

    On the other hand, if her husband decides to tell her, it will be a betrayal on my part to my friend and she may not forgive or trust me ever again.



    244 days ago

  • Gworthason

    If she is really your best friend and someone you can trust, then you should tell her the truth. Just say you both dated but it was nothing serious. It is not in your place to give details of his character because he might not be the same person you knew in the past. Allow your friend figure it out herself.

    243 days ago

  • Amelia


    I appreciate all that you have said. Recently, I spoke with a cousin of mine and it and she said, telling her might bring an end to that relationship. He fear is that, whatever I tell my friend, if they eventually get married, her husband might chose to tell her a different thing from what I had told her and this might bring a strain to our friendship.

    I really don’t know what to do honestly.

    243 days ago

  • Nana

    Isn’t he your past? Do you still intend to date him? I see nothing wrong in telling your friend. In fact, telling her may be a better way for her to assess the guy thoroughly. Mind you, marriage is a journey of no return. I am sure you won’t be happy if your friend comes back to you tomorrow telling you that she married the wrong guy for something that could have been corrected if only you told her. Please, do not do this to your friend. 

    243 days ago