sound ridiculous but it is the truth. Often times, we ask why some people
especially ladies behave the way they do when it comes to sex. Is it that they
were not properly brought up by their parents or because of the kind of friends
From my experience, the above assumption is far from the truth. I am a living witness as to why many girls may be seen as sex lovers or addicts.
Growing up was good and bad for me in the sense that my parents were above average, status wise. I would say I enjoyed my childhood because my dad ensured we lacked nothing, almost everything I wanted was provided for me.
On the other hand, it wasnâ€™t all that which I would have wanted it to be because I got introduced to a habit that almost ruined my life and still haunts me till today.
I was as little as 8 if I remember clearly when I was abused by a neighbour. We had this neighbour of ours who was so close to my family. He was very nice to my family that sometimes we spent time with him as kids. He bought things for us and most times helped my father with errands. My father was a director where he worked so there were always activities around the house.
while I was in his house sleeping because we were allowed to visit him as a
result of his closeness with my family I
suppose, I felt a hand all over me, the hand moving all over me was so strong
that I woke up and realised I was naked. I queried why I was naked, he said to
me that he needed to remove something from my pubic area that if that thing
wasn't removed that when I grow up, I will be having difficulty passing urine
freely. He went further to say that my mum might not have known about this
since she's a women but my daddy would definitely know about it. He asked if my
father had removed anything from there before and I said know. He went ahead to
say that since my father had not done it that he had better remove it before
it's too late. He asserted that my father may not have bothered because I'm his
child and perhaps was waiting for the right time to do that.
Well, I never really gave it a thought as a child and at this pointed I agreed for him to remove whatever he said he needed to remove because I trusted as a neighbour. He then pulled me closer, pulled down my underwear and started fondling with me in a manner no one has ever done to me before.
I was shy and uncomfortable, but with every move he made, he assured me that it was the right thing to do that I will soon feel right afterward. This act of molestation happened many times and by the time could realise what was going on he had bought me over by giving me unsolicited gifts as a child. He treated me specially among my siblings. Whenever I went to his apartment, he always made sure I had plenty of things to eat and loads of toys to play with. This became a routine and because of the assurance he gave me, I never reported him to anybody neither did I object at any point. The molestation continued and at some point, I became very comfortable to the pointed I was the one making the demands as small as I was then.
Couple of years later, he moved out of my area and we never saw him till today. Following his moving out, the issue for me to contend with now became who to turn to that will always give me such pleasure. At this point, I had to start making advances to guys older than myself. Sex became a necessary monster in my life that I had to contend with.
I would say I had my way with almost if not all the guys I made advances at and at about 10-11 years when I was about to enter into secondary school, I had become a sex addict. If I did not sleep with a guy, I would not be comfortable. To keep the record straight, some of the guys we see today accusing others of rape and paedophilia are as guilty as the people they accuse.
If every woman who has been abused should come out and mention names, you would be surprised how bad this issue has gotten to.
Finally, I got admitted into a boarding school hoping that this act will stop but it never did rather it became worse. It was when I started interacting with classmates and friends who had never been abused or been with men that I realised the damage that had been done to me. At that point, I had bedded over 20 guys before I got to senior secondary. I hated myself. I regretted not letting anyone know about this and even if I should tell my family, how do I even start? The said culprit had moved out of the area and no one knows the exact location he is if he is still alive.
I have kept this to myself for many years but the pains, emotional and psychological trauma that Iâ€™ve been through are incomprehensible.
Let me use
this medium before I conclude to say that when next you hear someone speak
about abuse, rape etc, never you judge. It will only take a person who has been
through all of these to understand the pain and agony victims go through
because in my case, it shattered my sexual life and opened me up to a lot of
diseases and turned me into an addict.
My family isn't still aware till date because I still donâ€™t have the confidence and courage to face them and the possible backlash that may follow suit.
Thankfully, I have joined some support groups who are actually helping me deal with the effect and trauma that I have been through over the years.
340 days ago
159 days ago